You notice a brown squishy substance on your dining room chair. Do you:

a) wipe it up, but not before examining it closely to determine whether it is mushy rotted banana, poop, or plain old mud.

b) scream and run away.

c) eat it.

Someone just threw up on you. You think to yourself:

a) Again? Well, thank goodness I decided to wear the shirt that already had spit-up and ketchup stains on it.

b) Oh my gosh, this is so nasty, I have to get this off me right away. This is the most disgusting thing that has ever happened to me.

c) Hmmm, if everyone else is doing it, maybe I will too.

You are eating dinner. The person sitting next to you turns to you and tells you that he/she feels the need to relieve him/herself and requires your assistance with this process, specifically with the "wiping" maneuver. Do you:

a) Congratulate the person on his or her foresight in perceiving this bodily need, and jump up from your meal to be of service.

b) Inform your dining companion of your disgust and leave the table immediately. You don't have an appetite anymore.

c) Make loud farting noises intended to encourage your friend on his/her upcoming task.

You hear screaming coming from somewhere nearby. You:

a) Ignore it. They'll work it out for themselves. If they're bleeding, they'll probably come find you.

b) Listen to see if it's your neighbors fighting with each other again, or a true emergency, in which case you call 911.

c) Decide to join in and scream as loudly as you can too.

In the middle of the night, you once again hear screaming coming from somewhere nearby. You:

a) Jump out of bed and stumble down the hall to deal with it. When she has a nightmare, she needs her mommy.

b) Call 911.

c) Decide to join in and scream as loudly as you can too.


Mostly A)s. You are a mom. You daily tolerate all manner of disgustingness, chaos and loud noises without flinching.

Mostly B)s. You are a normal person who does not feel that poo, mud, guck and tears are a normal part of daily living.

Mostly C)s. You are a small child. You LOVE poo, mud, guck and tears and do your best to produce as much of them as possible.